Girls tend to receive more first-messages than they send (http://blog.okcupid.com/). After two months on the site I've received messages, winks and favorites from over 80 different men. By comparison, I've initiated about 10 conversations, three of which are with guys I've no intention of meeting (due to distance). In spite of the onslaught, I still try to respond to each *real* message in some fashion. Winks, favorites and messages that include the word "sexy" are not *real* messages, and I ignore them right off the bat.
Guys who message me who are clearly not even remotely interesting to me (republicans, the faithful, etc.) get a canned message: "Hi ___, Thanks for your message. I'm sorry, but I don't think we're a match. Good luck on your search!"
Usually I don't get a response back. A couple of guys have thanked me for the response and the honesty (which piques my interest in the guy for about a half a second). A couple have fussed about how cool they think I am and how we could really be something (poor guys). And then there was the Mean Guy.
Remember how OkCupid helps a girl out, and uses the phrase "Y'all got issues" when you're viewing a profile of a guy who's match and enemy percentages are really bad? Mean Guy's profile said "Y'all got issues" on it. He is also a self proclaimed loud mouth. Those were two of the red flags I remember. One thing I also remember is his reference to drama. He was very clear at two points in his profile that he does not want drama. Somebody recently told me this is a red flag. Anybody who refers to drama has drama. They may not like it, but somehow they attract it, are attracted to it, or they are unconsciously creating it. To be fair, I read his whole profile before responding with the canned "no thanks."
I did not get any of the usual responses to my rejection message. Instead I got a series of messages (three of them) strewn with really foul language, indicating that I should go f* myself and that I was a dirty hipster b*. Ok, hold the phone. Hipster? Did he read my profile at all? I don't know anything about music and I like to Dance! Has he ever met a hipster? All they do is act pretentious about music; plus they are way too cool to dance (ever)!
Then he told me what he thought I should (inappropriately) do with my yoga mat. Yoga? I don't do yoga. I don't even mention it in my profile to make myself seem less lethargic than I am... I even admit in my questions that I never meditate (an "Unacceptable Answer" for almost every guy on the freaking site)! Sure seems like he never actually read my profile!
Okay, so clearly this guy with the potty mouth was upset and then allowed himself to be irrationally abusive to a stranger. Lesson learned? If they guy mentions drama in his profile, it's okay to be rude and ignore him. It's better than the alternative!